girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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