where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
