My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Boobs are out for the taking
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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