JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
