no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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