even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize