Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You are the jesus of drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
