omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize