he shaved USA in his pubs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
