I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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