She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
