giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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