You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
