I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
