I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
