Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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