She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
