Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
