Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize