new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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