Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
