I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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