I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
