me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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