Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
