I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
