it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
