Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
