I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
