I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
