How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
