i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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