You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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