I feel like abortions should bother me more
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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