Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
