i just wanna soil my oats bro
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
