do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
