those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
