I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
