so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
