She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
