I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
