so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
