I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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