we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
