Christians are straight up FREAKS
4 words: hood of his car
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
