Do you still have your period?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
