Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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