I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I know her cup size but not her name....
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