That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize