felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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