White coat. Heels.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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