Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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