Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
