I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
