He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize