I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
