Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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