he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
