You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
