What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
