shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
