There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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