remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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