I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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