I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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