can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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