Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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