He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
