Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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