operation harelip BJ is a go
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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