Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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