I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
