I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
