It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
