Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize