Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
