Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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