everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
