Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think my fart just growled at me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
