Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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