I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Drake has all the answers
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
