Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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