Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
