he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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