I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
