I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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