I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
